The Truth About Social Smokers (they’re not that bad)

Note: This is an archived blog post from an old personal blog, On The Contrary. Please see this post for more details

Everyone hates social smokers. Smoking socially seems to be fine, but admitting that you do seems to be an act that has been condemned.

Social smoking is basically someone who smokes only when his/her friends are smoking too. However, social smoking has modernly been defined as something done by ‘losers’ who are just wannabes and do it to be cool and to socialize because they are unable to socialize through conversation and normal methods. I too, agreed with this, until I thought about it and realised that social smoking goes much deeper than doing it just to socialize with peers. We all often condemn smoking itself as something done by people who just want to be cool in front of others and many smokers just say that they are too addicted to stop (which is usually true). Thats an entirely different article though – So because we already think of it negatively, those that smoke socially basically can’t use the excuse of being addicted thus we accuse them of smoking thus causing hazards to their own health for the sake of making friends. This itself already sounds pretty harsh, but theres much more to it.

What if you looked at social smoking as an activity done for enjoyment? Smoking is definately enjoyable and so it can be categorized here too. So smoking can become ideal as something friends do together, thus it can be like drinking beer or just hanging out and playing video games. Social smoking can thus occur when someone just wants a stick to enjoy, kind of like shisha. Well, this made sense to me – Whether addicted or not, as long as they are enjoying it, social smokers seem to be fine because they’re just involving themselves into something they want to receive enjoyment from.

Results are In.

Note: This is an archived blog post from an old personal blog, On The Contrary. Please see this post for more details

Graduation from college was nice and simple. Passed through my life like another simple event.

My results, however, involved much more concern and anxiety. Just receiving my results today, I’m relieved that the outcome was indeed better than what I had expected due to my performance over the year in college. I’ve always had results for my finals that are either predicted or above my predictions. Basically, I’ve always had it easy when it comes to collection of results and because of that I have started to think about the other people who have it different.

I went through a ton of stress though already giving myself an honest prediction of what I thought I could get. But what about the stress others may go through who have no definitive idea of what they are going to see in their results? It’s like gambling, is it not? I am not saying that my confidence is always there and that I’m some kinda smart-ass who can score or something – however, it is just something I have thought about. First I thought about if it was possible to take your results and not have an idea of what you are about to see – then I thought it had to be existent.

Then again, I have heard that this is how it is in University – you won’t have a clue about what your marks are going to be.

This is where the worrying part comes. A sudden change of how things have gone as a routine for so many years – will that affect me?

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.” – Niels Bohr (1885 – 1962)

The Truth About Bullies

Note: This is an archived blog post from an old personal blog, On The Contrary. Please see this post for more details

This article is based purely from logical thinking, and not out of psychological research of any sort.

So back in high-school there were various things we could have been like the perfectionist, the sportsmen and so on. This article focuses on the bullies and the victims.

Contrary to regular belief, not all bullies are the same. We’ve all heard that usual statement of how they’re all the same or how they’re all cowards. I don’t think that a guy willing to beat the crap out of you is a coward. The modern day bullies can be anyone, and through observation it seems that bullies aren’t like the ones in movies anymore. Bullies these days don’t just stop at picking on smaller people they see as nerds or geeks anymore, nowadays bullies stand as independent figures that victimize anyone they can.

To me, the reasons bullies exist can be summed up in a few reasons.

The bully may do this because he wants to receive attention. By doing anything rebelious, it is obvious that attention is received both when he/she is caught and forcefully received from the victim that they bully. A bully may also want to show the world that he/she is independent and by showing the world that they are above others, this will give them satisfaction in thinking that they are able to take care of themselves.

Lunch money or any other physical loot can be plundered from the victims. Apart from this, other gains such as power itself is involved. This power is obviously power through fear which can be easily related to Hitler. So do these bullies try to be Hitler? Hah, maybe.

All in all, most bullies would probably do what they do to gain respect, to show the world that they are superior to everyone else. Most teenage bullies gain their larger size through their upbringing thus it is ironic how they use this ‘given’ frame for such uses.

So why do people call bullies cowards anyway? Tell your son to stand up to the bully because the bully is just a coward and your son will be shitting teeth he swallowed after getting them smacked in. Bullies do what they do to show that they’re more powerful, why would a coward do it? Nowadays, there aren’t many bullies that are ‘insecure’. Do you think saying out loud “Hey! I know you cry under your blanket every night you insecure coward! Thats all you do!” is gonna make him feel guilty and sob to his Mummy and Daddy? Uh, no. He’s gonna bring a fist to your face so fast, you won’t even be able to cuss. Bullies aren’t cowards – even if they were, fuck with them and they’ll probably have connections to fuck you deeper than what you did. Sucks doesn’t it? The only thing bullies are probably afraid of are either their parents (not likely) and the police so yeah, thats the only way to handle them – or you could let your son just go through it like all normal kids would have to do and not humiliating him in front of his friends and that girl he has a crush on.

Bullies continue to exist because of obvious reasons right? Bullies get it all! Power, control, wealth (little exaggerated), respect and even the chicks sometimes. So whats there not to love? Apart from the occassional parental arguements and police run-ins, you’ll be living a life like a teenage pimp. To be a bully though, you’d probably have to have a larger frame than the average kid-next-door and be have a face that scares him easily just so you don’t have to get your hands dirty to run your extortion.

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

PS: The above quote is utter bullshit.