How to identify a Poser Drunk

After browsing some Facebook photos I have to say, I am a very mean person when I am sober. Then I get drunk and start posing. This is a quick post to highlight the discovery of a new species of drunk: The Poser Drunk. This is a quick guide to identifying a Poser Drunk.

Pre-High Stage: Evil mode.

When I walk into the room, my drunk-radar switches on. I rush to the drunkest person I can find and snap a photo of me with them. This is where I exploit my power of condescending on these victims (who are usually not drunk and instead just have good blood circulation).

14739_209817834876_521249876_3124025_1400158_nI began the night taking a photo with the two-drink-tomato, Kawing

10957_245920508507_832293507_4254955_4557804_nLater on in the night, still pretty sober, I found another victim. I don’t know what pose Andrew Tan is doing

I followed this photo up with some pretty strong stuff. This ofcourse led to the malfunctioning of my radar and the Post-High stage

Post-High Stage: Poser mode.

During the Pre-High Stage, you may have noticed how I have my fingers pointing at my victims or the surroundings in an attempt to show my “superiority” in soberness. This is in actual fact, a cover-up of me warming up for The Cowboy Pose mode.What is this Cowboy Pose you may ask? A move that requires precision and accuracy that can only be acquired with constant training and vigilence: You place one arm around another person in a shot as if to hold them hostage; then, with your other hand, create what can be recognized as a guns (revolvers would be recommended, anything larger might make you look stupid); and finally you point this gun at them as if they really were your hostage.

20457_388032985226_669430226_10301468_1527134_nEddy and I. Note how my right arm holds him so that he cannot get away as my revolver threatens him to not do anything funny

20457_388033020226_669430226_10301473_8322434_nAs the night passes, I take more drinks and Poser mode goes to another level. I take Kay Chong as my 2nd hostage and in this photo you can actually see my other hand evolving into my second revolver

20457_388033005226_669430226_10301471_1446521_nHere I am, guns ablazing. You can literally see the fear in Nee Kee’s face as he silently cries for help.

20457_388033015226_669430226_10301472_7043212_nI then sober up a bit and decide to keep my hands out of the shot to avoid taking photos with the same pose hence the lack of fear in Yin Yi‘s face

Drunk Stage: Over Poser Mode.

Some idiot then buys more jugs and I hit the point of no return

20457_388032970226_669430226_10301467_6374078_nMy pose reaches new limits with my hand now wielding a gun instead of being shaped as one. I have reached the highest level of posing where I have now assumed I am a model and will try to look like what I have seen in magazines. My body bends slightly, just as a model I saw in the newspaper of some model (probably female, crap). Eddy gives me a taste of my own medicine both condescending me and Cowboy Posing me.

Hence ends the guide to identifying a Poser Drunk.

Hope you enjoyed the post – It was a fun night for me and my last alcoholic night before I left Malaysia. Cheers.

Thanks for the photos: Yen, Mabel and Yinyi.

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